check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
