Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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