Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
