I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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