How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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