you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
