carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
