I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
