Texts From Last Night

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  (347): View more from New York

  Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.

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  (347): Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service. http://tfl.nu/eqpl
  Replies (117) Good night (4333) Bad night (1378) Order T-Shirt
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  (716): View more from New York

  do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?

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  (716): do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car? http://tfl.nu/kx3d
  Replies (10) Good night (3021) Bad night (491) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.

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  (312): I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night. http://tfl.nu/6of9
  Replies (11) Good night (6127) Bad night (895) Order T-Shirt
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now

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  (318): I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now http://tfl.nu/xdsb
  Replies (15) Good night (5429) Bad night (1488) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again

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  (815): If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again http://tfl.nu/myb5
  Replies (3) Good night (1466) Bad night (2507) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.

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  (515): Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him. http://tfl.nu/f51r
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (2343) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.

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  (603): he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained. http://tfl.nu/iy0m
  Replies (11) Good night (1716) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  this better not be you asking for a beej

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  (303): She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner. (719): this better not be you asking for a beej http://tfl.nu/u03l
  Replies (14) Good night (1213) Bad night (2201)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

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  (315): Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina. http://tfl.nu/ovxs
  Replies (17) Good night (2217) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.

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  (260): After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing. http://tfl.nu/bjii
  Replies (24) Good night (861) Bad night (2418) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang

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  (412): I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang http://tfl.nu/dtxk
  Replies (20) Good night (1812) Bad night (560) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite

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  (573): I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite http://tfl.nu/v7zy
  Replies (6) Good night (1228) Bad night (1343) Order T-Shirt
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  (760): View more from California

  The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.

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  (760): The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet. http://tfl.nu/760v
  Replies (3) Good night (1012) Bad night (272) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.

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  (541): I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer. http://tfl.nu/oba2
  Replies (7) Good night (1571) Bad night (314) Order T-Shirt
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.

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  (774): One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it. http://tfl.nu/38tv
  Replies (1) Good night (609) Bad night (157) Order T-Shirt

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