he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
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it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"