Where is the hickey?
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.