biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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