well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
