i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
