just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
