i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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