My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
