So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
