yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
