After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
