She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
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My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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