I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I use my feet as sexual weapons
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
