is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
