I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
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