dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
