We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i dont even know how to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
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