Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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