Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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