haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
you would pick up someone in the library
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
