Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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