Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
