Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
