So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
