How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
