Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
