The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He better not be in your backpack
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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