I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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