if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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