Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize