bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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