so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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