in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
