To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
