as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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