one might say we're banned from that church
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
