Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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