At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I bet he comes in French.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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