Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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