Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
