This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
How does one acquire holy water?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
