I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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