I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
