did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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