At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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