Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
