question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The Olympian is in my bed
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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