I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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