I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
