Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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