Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
