Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
